One Month Old: A Letter to Squirm

Squirm at one month oldDear Squirm,

I really don’t know where the time has gone. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were waiting for you to make your arrival. But at the same time it feels like you have always been here.

You’re doing so well now, despite your difficult entry to the world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as bad as I did the morning after you were born, when I woke up and you were not there. I was so anxious to get down to see you in Special Care, and when I got there, you were just perfect. I still think you’re perfect, even though you can’t tell me when there’s something wrong with you!

We seem to have feeding under control now. They didn’t give you anything but saline until I could get down to see you in Special Care, so you were eager to latch on the first time. Then things started getting difficult. I was following all of the ‘ínstructions’ the way we’d been told, but you just wouldn’t latch on. Instead you’d bob your head, then shake your head around, then cry because you couldn’t get what you wanted. It took a couple of the older, more forceful midwives to get you on the first few times. Then you just seemed to get it. Now it feels like you’ve been feeding forever, even if you still shake your head around a lot when you feed in the middle of the night.

Night times have settled down pretty well, too. The first night we got you home, you would not be put down to sleep. You were determined only to sleep if your Dad or I were holding you. Luckily we managed to get you into your cot after a few days. Now you’re starting to sleep for longer periods of time – at least, most of the time you are.

It’s been a busy time since you got home. We’ve made trips to see your grandparents, we’ve gone out for breakfast , visited both my old work places and we’ve done lots of walking. I won’t be able to drive until you’re 6 weeks old, so we’ve been putting you into the wrap and wearing you around. I was even able to wear you to visit one of my old schools. I find a lot of people want to talk with me when I’m wearing the wrap – you are a pretty good conversation starter! Everyone who’s come up to talk with me has been friendly, though, and I find I really like the sense of community.

We’ve been reading lots of books with you too, since you were born. Your dad brought a bunch in with him to the hospital and we took turns reading to you in the patients lounge. We’re reading The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe together as a family, and I’m reading The Borrowers to you, usually when you’re feeding. We’re also reading lots of picture books. Your favourites at the moment are the ones with simple illustrations – Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus and Earth to Stella were two you really enjoyed.

I’m looking forward to your second month. I love all the faces you pull and the noises you make, and I can’t wait to see what will be next. You’re so strong in your head and your legs right now – pulling your head up to look around and pushing us away with your legs – so I’m a little nervous about what that holds for us!

With lots of love,



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